I have shared with a few of you about the anxiety I was having in regards to my Brazil trip.  As a first time mission traveler, I spent a good deal of time trying to figure out if my frustrations were centered around my false expectations or if there was, in fact, an underlying issue with the trip.  As the time progressed, my anxiety became frustration as I felt the team wasn’t connecting.  Others felt the frustration as well.  Before I knew it, the team of 15 had dwindled down to 7.  I tried to understand why God would have led me to a team that caused me to question my purpose and potential success of our trip.  I prayed.  A lot.  I sought out others who had traveled, who had led, who understood the process.  At the end of the day, I found myself in a situation that made me uncomfortable and I wanted to withdraw from the team.   I knew that I had supporters who had already given to me financially and a plane ticket already booked.  I knew that the team leaders would be burdened by the last-minute change.  Ultimately, I had to be true to myself and “pay attention to the tension”.  I drafted up a few emails, and this past Thursday, I withdrew from my Brazil mission trip.

When those emails went out, I had no backup plan.  I had spoken to a few leaders from other teams and learned very quickly that all of the mission trips scheduled to leave this summer were full and teams had already been formed.  The best I could hope for was trying to get into a trip for later this Fall.  I was especially disappointed to hear that a team traveling to Haiti was already full.  One of my frustrations with Brazil stemmed around the idea that I wasn’t convinced we would have the potential to make a difference.  Haiti, on the other hand is in desperate need.  There are countless ways to bring God’s love to that devastated country.  As much as I loved the idea of traveling to Haiti, I was willing and open to go wherever God wanted me.  If I was going to travel this summer, I had to have faith that God would work it out.

Boy, did He ever!

Less than 24 hours after withdrawing myself from the Brazil trip, I get this text message:

“Guess what?!  We have a spot on the Haiti trip for a female.  One of our team members is no longer able to go.  Are you still looking for a trip?”

I literally jumped up from my desk and screamed out loud!  If that was not a huge sign from God, I don’t know what is!  I, of course, immediately said yes.  Within a matter of minutes, I had become a member of a team that will be traveling to Haiti from July 31st-August 6th.  Although, the details of shifting my financial support and canceling a very expensive Brazilian plane ticket are still up in the air, I am confident that God will continue to make this happen.

This Haiti trip is proof, yet again that God is in control.  I will now be serving alongside a team made up of amazing friends and to make it that much more special, I will be celebrating my birthday while there.  The change in vacation time at work was unusually easy.  I have no explanation as to why my company was easily able to give me the time off when there is an extreme shortage in coverage.  That spot on the Haiti team would have been filled within minutes.  If I hadn’t sent out my email the day before, I may not have not been able to give the instant answer that they needed.  I can’t help but believe that I had to show God that I was willing to take a leap of faith in order to show Him my commitment to this trip.  So far, the details of this new trip are coming together seamlessly.  Please pray that God continues to work this out.

I know as a supporter, you may be uneasy with the unexpected change.  I have to assure you that God is in control!  I am working with GlobalX to transfer every penny of support that has already been pledged.  I assure you that you are still contributing to someone who knows and trusts that God has big plans for this mission trip.  I am more confident than ever that this is exactly where I am supposed to be going this summer.  Thank you for your continued prayers as I work out the details of such a huge change.

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Last night at my ladies small group meeting we discussed Grace.  I have used, written and seen this word millions of time in my life.  Up until last night though, I don’t think I ever fully understood what exactly it meant.  We discussed how Gods grace is all around us and that we just have to train our eyes to see it.  I immediately thought of the amazing sunrise that meets me every morning on my commute to work.  Of course I see it as beautiful, and I am thankful for the view during an otherwise boring drive up 285.  But, that same sunrise takes on a whole new appearance when we choose to see it as a God thing!  The same can be said for the warm weather that greeted me this afternoon and the wind against my face coming in from my rolled down window.  For the friends that I spent the weekend with, for the warm bed that I will sleep in tonight.  It all takes on a different look, and different feeling.  Grace is easily defined as repentance and forgiveness…. but it is so much more. I think my heart grew two sizes last night with this realization.

Over the last 21 days, I have given up sweets, Starbucks and a few other frivolous foods as my church took it upon ourselves to really, really pray.  We had 300,000 people in mind as we spoke to God about the daunting task of reaching so many un-churched neighbors.  I quickly leaned that the praying was the easy part.  It was the listening that was more of a challenge.  The lesson of looking for God’s grace in our surroundings can also be used to teach us how to be still and quiet long enough to hear what He has to say.  We challenged ourselves last night to make a date with God.  To find a chunk of time when we turn off the cell phone, turn off the radio, turn off the TV, and just be. Scary concept.  Amazingly powerful opportunity.

Only when we learn to live in the grace of the Father’s house can we become like Him.  When our hands are filled with His blessings, we are able to relax our grip on our sinful pursuits of fulfillment, our prideful competitiveness, our inner complaints.

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I knew that I would be “unplugged” going into today.  My normal routines of checking in on Twitter, Facebook and gchat would no longer be an option in my new position.  (What can I say… Im addicted to the social media scene!)  I was surprisingly okay with the idea and managed to get through the day without many withdrawal pains.  But as I sat down tonight and plugged in the laptop I realize how much had transpired today.

Through that same social media scene that I thought I could live without, I learn that a friend has lost his mom today.  I immediately pick up the phone and call him.  As I listen to him recount the last few hours of his life I can’t help but think about how much we take for granted.

I have been stressing and worrying so much over the last few weeks about this new position.  I became so consumed in the details of the transition and worried about how the lack of control would effect me.   I took for granted that the opportunity was there at all and that I had a choice in the matter.  I obviously had no way of knowing what the future would look like but that didn’t stop me from spending countless hours worrying about it.

Tonight I have Josh in my prayers as I realize how insignificant my new office is…… when you think about the big picture.   I also pray that all of us will understand that God has all of this planned.  We worry ourselves sick over details, when at the end of the day it was never in our control to begin with.  Which, honestly, it much more comforting then any plan I could come up with.

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These past few weeks we have taken our small group time to be apart of a series that the church is offering.  The topics center around dating while maintaining a Christian walk and also keeping a balance between the new love, the friends, the family, etc.  One of the questions that came up last night was about keeping Christian friends around when you are in a relationship.  The speaker asked us if we should take advice from our Christian friends over the advice from our not-so Christian friends.  The conversation that swirled around was eye-opening. People had strong and valid opinions for both choices.

We all have those friends.  The friends that may not share in our values.  The friends that we love and whose opinions we honestly cherish.  But at the end of the day, those friends don’t have the same moral compass, the same biblical understanding, the same perspective as our Christian friends.  The advice they give is in a secular sense…. without the backing of Christian standards.  I’m not saying that their advice is bad.  I’m not even saying that the advice is wrong.  But I think we need to be careful when trying to walk a path that brings us closer to God when those walking with you don’t have the same destination in mind.

My past once again sheds light on how important this truth is.  I sat in that auditorium last night and had the realization that there is a chance that I wouldn’t be divorced had I not listened so much to a close friend of mine.  A close friend that is by no means walking on the Jesus path.  And in all fairness, at that time, I wasn’t exactly on that path either.  I love this girl.  I truly value her friendship and her opinion.  But at the time, her opinion was all I had.  And in her eyes, walking away from my marriage was what needed to be done.  I don’t blame her.  Not by a long shot.  But I do wonder what would have happened if my friends surrounding me at that time had been a little more….. well….. Christian.

I think its great and necessary to keep all sorts of people around us.  We need the strong Christians to keep us accountable, to help us grow.  But we also need our secular friends so that we can experience all that life has to offer. They are there to challenge us in ways our Christian friends might not be able to.  They are there to keep us from becoming closed minded.  They are there to remind us that we cannot judge those around us who don’t think or act like us.

I’m so blessed to have found some fabulous Christian girls.  But I have no plans to forget about the amazing people in my life that may not be exactly on my same page spiritually.  Being christian means we made a choice to follow Jesus. But we have to remember at one point we were right where our non Christian friends are.

All of our friends are invaluable.  Let this be a reminder to ask for lots of opinions.  To truly hear from everyone around us.  But to ultimately seek what would be best in order to keep us on that path that brings us closer to God.

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