Moments Worth Mentioning

I have recently found a group of girls through Buckhead Church and we meet once a week to check in, share, and learn a few things about Jesus.  Its been incredible to witness the forming of this group and how the six of us were put together in such a random setting, and yet we have so so so much in common.  Truly Gods work!

These past few weeks we have taken our small group time to be apart of a series that the church is offering.  The topics center around dating while maintaining a Christian walk and also keeping a balance between the new love, the friends, the family, etc.  One of the questions that came up last night was about keeping Christian friends around when you are in a relationship.  The speaker asked us if we should take advice from our Christian friends over the advice from our not-so Christian friends.  The conversation that swirled around was eye-opening. People had strong and valid opinions for both choices.

We all have those friends.  The friends that may not share in our values.  The friends that we love and whose opinions we honestly cherish.  But at the end of the day, those friends don’t have the same moral compass, the same biblical understanding, the same perspective as our Christian friends.  The advice they give is in a secular sense…. without the backing of Christian standards.  I’m not saying that their advice is bad.  I’m not even saying that the advice is wrong.  But I think we need to be careful when trying to walk a path that brings us closer to God when those walking with you don’t have the same destination in mind.

My past once again sheds light on how important this truth is.  I sat in that auditorium last night and had the realization that there is a chance that I wouldn’t be divorced had I not listened so much to a close friend of mine.  A close friend that is by no means walking on the Jesus path.  And in all fairness, at that time, I wasn’t exactly on that path either.  I love this girl.  I truly value her friendship and her opinion.  But at the time, her opinion was all I had.  And in her eyes, walking away from my marriage was what needed to be done.  I don’t blame her.  Not by a long shot.  But I do wonder what would have happened if my friends surrounding me at that time had been a little more….. well….. Christian.

I think its great and necessary to keep all sorts of people around us.  We need the strong Christians to keep us accountable, to help us grow.  But we also need our secular friends so that we can experience all that life has to offer. They are there to challenge us in ways our Christian friends might not be able to.  They are there to keep us from becoming closed minded.  They are there to remind us that we cannot judge those around us who don’t think or act like us.

I’m so blessed to have found some fabulous Christian girls.  But I have no plans to forget about the amazing people in my life that may not be exactly on my same page spiritually.  Being christian means we made a choice to follow Jesus. But we have to remember at one point we were right where our non Christian friends are.

All of our friends are invaluable.  Let this be a reminder to ask for lots of opinions.  To truly hear from everyone around us.  But to ultimately seek what would be best in order to keep us on that path that brings us closer to God.

As the world around me continues to spin at an alarmingly fast pace I have to make a conscious effort to fully engage in the people who I interact with.  It’s incredibly easy to be with people, to listen to them, to share space with them…. but its something entirely different to have the time or energy to genuinely invest in them.  We have hundreds of people in our lives.  Just take a look at our Facebook’s…. it’s not uncommon for us to literally have 300 or 400+ “friends”.  As great as all of these people are… its more likely that only a handful of them get our undivided attention…. our sincere investment.

I have this theory.  It involves buckets.  Buckets are good for holding stuff… sand, water, or sports equipment in the back of our cars.  There are bucket lists.  People kick the bucket.  Things can be a Drop in the Bucket.  But for the purpose of this discussion… these buckets hold something more abstract.

We are all capable of emotionally investing in people.  We can give it to our friends, our boyfriends/girlfriends, our families.  But there is only so much to be given.  On the other side of that, we also have the capacity to be emotionally invested in.  This give and take of our efforts are what relationships are based on.

To simplify this, let me introduce you to my bucket theory.  This particular bucket holds our emotional investment potential.  Our bucket is only so big, and can only hold so much.  Our buckets are filled by others pouring into us, by investing in us.  Over time, our bucket becomes full.  We then have the capacity to pour into someone else.  It’s a simple idea that lets us understand why sometimes there is only so much to give and/or receive.  If we have our energies focused elsewhere, and we empty our buckets into a work project, a new relationship or a friend in need our bucket runs on empty.  We become emotionally drained.  (Get it?  Buckets?  Drained? )

The moral of the story?  Be cautious of where you are pouring your bucket.

Sometimes its ok for us to pour into others who dont necessarily have the same potential to give back.  As Christians we are encouraged to give to those in need.  But we have to be able to recognize that all investments come at a cost and we need to find a balance.  Don’t invest in something that will leave you unable to continue the investments you have already made.  Check yourself, and ask yourself what your intentions are with someone/something.  Why are we choosing to pour some of our bucket love here and not there?

Be genuine with those around you.  Don’t just listen… truly hear them.  Share more than just space.  Fill their bucket.  Most importantly, take a look at where your energies are focused….look at who or what you may be neglecting….where you are pouring your bucket.