Moments Worth Mentioning

As the world around me continues to spin at an alarmingly fast pace I have to make a conscious effort to fully engage in the people who I interact with.  It’s incredibly easy to be with people, to listen to them, to share space with them…. but its something entirely different to have the time or energy to genuinely invest in them.  We have hundreds of people in our lives.  Just take a look at our Facebook’s…. it’s not uncommon for us to literally have 300 or 400+ “friends”.  As great as all of these people are… its more likely that only a handful of them get our undivided attention…. our sincere investment.

I have this theory.  It involves buckets.  Buckets are good for holding stuff… sand, water, or sports equipment in the back of our cars.  There are bucket lists.  People kick the bucket.  Things can be a Drop in the Bucket.  But for the purpose of this discussion… these buckets hold something more abstract.

We are all capable of emotionally investing in people.  We can give it to our friends, our boyfriends/girlfriends, our families.  But there is only so much to be given.  On the other side of that, we also have the capacity to be emotionally invested in.  This give and take of our efforts are what relationships are based on.

To simplify this, let me introduce you to my bucket theory.  This particular bucket holds our emotional investment potential.  Our bucket is only so big, and can only hold so much.  Our buckets are filled by others pouring into us, by investing in us.  Over time, our bucket becomes full.  We then have the capacity to pour into someone else.  It’s a simple idea that lets us understand why sometimes there is only so much to give and/or receive.  If we have our energies focused elsewhere, and we empty our buckets into a work project, a new relationship or a friend in need our bucket runs on empty.  We become emotionally drained.  (Get it?  Buckets?  Drained? )

The moral of the story?  Be cautious of where you are pouring your bucket.

Sometimes its ok for us to pour into others who dont necessarily have the same potential to give back.  As Christians we are encouraged to give to those in need.  But we have to be able to recognize that all investments come at a cost and we need to find a balance.  Don’t invest in something that will leave you unable to continue the investments you have already made.  Check yourself, and ask yourself what your intentions are with someone/something.  Why are we choosing to pour some of our bucket love here and not there?

Be genuine with those around you.  Don’t just listen… truly hear them.  Share more than just space.  Fill their bucket.  Most importantly, take a look at where your energies are focused….look at who or what you may be neglecting….where you are pouring your bucket.

Weekends develop themes sometimes.  They sometimes come with a tone of celebration, relaxation or maybe a sense of exhaustion from running from one task to another.  Regardless, our weekends are a cherished 48 hours between two hectic weeks.

This past weekend I found myself leaving the city and heading north.  Fall is upon us and some friends and I wanted to experience some good old fashioned Fall fun.  Our destination: the North Georgia Mountains.  Three of us drove the hour and a half up to where the leaves were a little more orange, the temperatures were a little bit chillier and the roads were a little smaller.  We left the noise and commotion of the city behind and entered into a world that personified Fall in Georgia… a world that I had called home a few years ago.

I spent five years of my life in the town of Dahlonega, GA.  That chapter of my live involved going to college, moving away from my parents, starting new relationships and testing my limits.  It was an amazing bit of time that I would go back and relive in a heartbeat.  I loved that town.  I loved the potential and the endless opportunities that I had during that age.  I loved the comfort of the small town.

As we were driving down the familiar roads and parking on a campus that I once called home the memories came flooding back.  I am now a different person, reentering into a place that is exactly the same.  Yet, the feel of it was the similar, but so very different at the same time.  I was now an outsider looking in.  I am now the tourist.

“There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have changed.”

That quote is amazingly true.  If anything, the visit to Dahlonega confirmed to me how much I had changed.  Since I left that town five years ago lots has happened… life has happened.  I have been married and divorced, I have bought and sold a home, I have moved back and forth across the country, I have lost ones that I love, and I have found new friends.

I have changed.

This Saturday started as a day of remembering, but quickly the old memories turned into new ones as the three of us laughed the afternoon away.  We enjoyed the people watching, sharing old stories and enjoyed each others company.  It was truly a marvelous fall day with some amazing friends.  Thank you Shannon and Kevin for allowing me to share the day with you and for joining me on my walk down memory lane.

Happy Fall!

Its been one of those weeks that make me happy that Friday has arrived. Actually its been about a two week stretch that has left me mentally and physically exhausted.

The majority of my mental exhaustion centers around work. I have had this job for about six months now, and I can honestly say that I have never been so happy and content about my employment. I have found something that I enjoy and a company that appreciates my dedication. Its an amazing feeling… and I am truly blessed to be in such a great work situation. With that being said, in the last two weeks I have have been handed extra responsibilities which I have loved, but have also left me a little overwhelmed. We are expanding our business and because I was the first employee hired, I have become an expert on the process. (Which is crazy considering I still feel pretty new myself!) I am now training new employees and seen as a resource for any issues that may come up as we open new offices. The days involve countless phone calls, meetings with management and endless creative brainstorming. Its a new role that I am really enjoying. Thankfully, my company appreciates my efforts and have offered to let me move to whichever office I would like as we continue to expand over the Atlanta area. (Have I mentioned that I love my job?)

So… I have my eye on an the “mother ship” office at St. Joes hospital. I took a tour of the giant office this past Tuesday and have basically been told that its mine if I want it when they open in mid to late November. The location is a much shorter commute, gives me the opportunity to work with the best doctors and gives me the ability to move into an official management role. All of which make the decision a no-brainer….Except… there is some hesitation in my mind. I would be leaving an office that I love, leaving a staff that is amazing, saying goodbye to the normal 8-5 lifestyle and walking away from some doctors that are exceptionally fun to work with. I am certain that the new office, that’s known to have some high-ego doctors and a higher than average staff turnover, won’t allow me to have those same types of relationships. The drastic change in work environment has left me wondering if its worth it.

During the past few weeks the message at Buckhead Church has been centered around questions to ask yourself before we make any substantial decisions. (Perfect timing, huh?) Its been an amazing series that has given me some great resources. For example, we were told to pay attention to the tension…. Which basically means, pay attention to that little voice that says “are you sure about this?”. Being able to identify that hint of doubt gives you the power to honestly evaluate the choice. As this work decision is looming in my mind I can’t help but think that this is what the tension feels like. BUT, how do you know when its tension… otherwise known as… God speaking to your heart, or just a moderate case of apprehension that’s normal with any change? I am hoping that a little more time to sort through my thoughts will provide the answer to that question and I will be able to make the best decision.

Life is basically one decision after another. Some minor, others very major. But all decisions start us down a path…. A path that we hope is where we are supposed to be. I know I’m guilty of straying pretty far off that path in the past. Heres to making the right decision, and staying right on course.

Life is funny in that we are on this great search for truths. We want all the answers, all the knowledge.  We try to figure things out by putting ourselves through years of school, by dragging ourselves to counselors offices, by scouring Google, by buying books, by going to church…. we want to know about stuff. We want to know about our surroundings, our profession… and sometimes, when the time is right… ourselves.

The saying “the truth hurts” is thrown around pretty easily.  We use it following a witty comment.  We use it as a follow up to a statement that we know hits too close to home.  As hard as we as a society try to figure things out we also have a tendency to overlook the obvious stuff… the obvious truths.  Its because sometimes those truths do hurt.  Its easier to not acknowledge them.

This past weekend, on two separate occasions, with two separate people, the truth reared its ugly head.  I was left in disbelief as these individuals were able to so easily discover the truth about me.  Without much history, without much context…. they had me figured out.  They knew the truth.  At first I was a little angry, maybe even a little embarrassed.  How dare these people… who hardly know me… have the audacity to make such assumptions?  But thats the thing, they weren’t assumptions.  It was the truth.  And it hurt.

As initially shocked and upset as I was, I honestly walked away from the conversations forcing myself to be thankful that I have these people in my life that are wiling to so easily “call me out”.  People that I am obviously pretty transparent with, enough for them to be able to have such incredible insight.

It seems OK to seek after the truth on our terms.  When we are ready  to read the Self-Help books… bring on the truth!  Its when someone knocks on our door unsolicited that the truth is not so easily swallowed.  Its then that we really see ourselves though someone else’s eyes.  Its then that the Truth Hurts.

Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
- James 1:24, RSV