Moments Worth Mentioning

I have often said that the best things in life are never scheduled. We worry ourselves sick over the details, the who, the what and the where. We fill our calendars with plans and activities. But I promise that some of the most memorable times in my life were never written down on a “to-do” list.

Last night I went out to dinner following the 6pm church service. Its a ritual that I have repeated almost every Sunday for the last several months. Always very low key, the place to eat is always a very last minute decision. The faces are always friendly and familiar. Last night was no exception. A crowd formed at a local restaurant and we basically took over the place as 40 or 50 0f us found a seat.

I often find myself looking around in amazement at these type of events. The friends that surround me were strangers not too long ago. Our lives are chaotic and we all have our calenders full of appointments. But somehow in the midst of all that is going on around us, we have found a common ground. I have been so blessed to form some amazing friendships at these unplanned events… friends that I foresee being apart of my life for a very long time. Friendships that are genuine and real.

I sat between two women last night that are by far the most influential people in my life right now. It was amazing to share a meal with them and have them both beside me. We laughed and giggled as we exchanged stories, caught up and ultimately learned more about each other. The laughter was sincere, the interest was genuine. I am so thankful to have found such strong, amazing women.

I won’t go into the fact that both of these ladies have new men in their lives. New men that understand how amazing my friends are. Men that have their hearts in the right place. Men that make my friends happy… which ultimately makes me happy.

Truly an unplanned amazing evening.

Its pretty much a guarantee that life will throw us some curve balls now and then. We are faced with betrayals, illness, disappointment and loss. These “storms” have the ability to turn our world upside down. But what happens to us when the storms are literal….

Today I found myself in a neighborhood effected by the recent Atlanta flood. My friends and I, along with countless volunteers, spent the better part of the day ripping out dry wall, filling up dumpsters, spraying bleach solution to fight off mold, packing up boxes and ultimately extending a helping hand to those in need.

The work that was done today was heartbreaking. The loss and destruction around me was traumatic. But what stood out to me the most was the overwhelming spirit of giving.

I witnessed flood victims sharing valuable limited resources. I saw company trucks drop off dehumidifiers, fans and generators without an expectation of payment. There were countless offers of food and drink. Neighbors helping other neighbors load heavy furniture into dumpsters. Front doors were left open as strangers made their way into homes to offer their help.

The capacity that we all have to love one another amazes me. It saddens me to know that it takes a flood to bring it out.

My experience today as seen though an Iphone:

The aftermath of 5ft of water. Everything that the water touched had to be torn down and thrown away.

People homes and prized possessions become instant garbage.

This was the worst effected home. The water filled up the entire basement as well as the entire first floor, and the family had to be rescued by fire fighters. The experience was so traumatic that they haven't been back. At this point, since dry wall wasn't immediately taken down, the house is a total loss as mold has already started to grow. Truly heartbreaking.

The water rose so fast. No time to even get the car out of the garage. This SUV was completely under water.

You can see the water line on the posts.

Its the water lines that make you stop and think. They make the reality of it very hard to overlook.

Mailboxes now have yellow tags marking homes that were effected by the flood.

Entire sets of furniture now sit in front yards waiting to be put into dumpsters.

It doesn't take long to fill up the dumpsters...

To add insult to injury the rain moved in later in the afternoon.

To put a face on the flood victims let me introduce you to this little guy. Here he stands in his Scooby Doo bedroom as his mom and dad load up any salvageable things into a Uhaul. It will be months before he gets to come back to his house...

I am currently sitting at a Starbucks, laptop in front of me, Smoothie in hand. Its 11 o’clock on a Tuesday and I have nowhere to be…. not a common occurrence.

Atlanta has seen over a week of heavy, continuous rain. What is left behind is hundreds of closed roads, power outages, broken water mains and a reminder that we take a lot of things for granted.

Due to the above mentioned issues, I am experiencing my second day in a row without the need (or the ability) to go to work. At first, it seems like a fantastic unplanned vacation. I am excited about the potential to catch up on some errands and get a few loads of laundry done. But then, the reality starts rolling in. I hear about a coworker who had their roof cave in. Another friend panics as he watches his basement fill up with water. Our events and gatherings are canceled. The news comes on with stories of several who have lost their lives. The pictures start appearing. Suddenly the unplanned vacation day(s) have a different feeling attached to them.

We go through life holding on to a very fragile balance. We go to work every day and complain about having to go back. We flip the light switch and expect the light to come on. We think we have all the time in the world. We think that things won’t happen to us.

And then it rains for a week.

So, today as I sit here relatively unaffected by the situation, I am reminded that there are a lot of people waking up this morning to a new reality. Its a day of cleanup, a day of mourning and a day to thank God for keeping the rain to 8 days… and not 40.

We all have friendship groups. Call them circles, clicks, posses…. whatever. They are “our people”, and know us better than anyone else. I have groups of friends that I have collected from high school, college, work, church and beyond. They all represent a part of my life and those friendships are what got me through the different phases of my life. We cherish each new set of friends and are always thankful for the ones that lead us to our current position.

Each group of friends knows you from a specific time and under specific circumstances. Its pretty likely that we have all changed a little (or a lot) through the years. The person you were in high school and the person you are today are probably a little different. Even the person you are at your job and the person you are on Saturday night may even be very different. But in each of those settings, we have our circle of friends. These circles have come to expect a certain person to show up… with the personality and attributes that they have come to know and love.
Its not like we are lying to one set of friends about who we really are. Its just in different social situations and in different phases of our lives we show a side of our personality that may not shine as brightly in different times or in different places.

How many of us could say that we have 15 friends that would give up their entire Saturday? And perform manual, back-breaking labor? And get nothing in return?

That is exactly what I witnessed this past weekend. For nine hours, a group of my friends and I volunteered to assemble a playground at an elementary school in downtown Atlanta. We came prepared with bottles of water, gloves and the willingness to serve. What we were not prepared for was the battle that would take place between us and the very hard Georgia red clay. It was an exhausting day as we took turns digging the 15 (very large, very deep) holes, hauling away the dirt, pouring concrete and eventually assembling the giant swing set. We walked away with blisters, aching muscles, dirty clothes… and the knowledge that we had truly made a difference in the world, at least in the eyes of a few hundred kids.

I’m a big fan of comfortable. Fuzzy blankets, comfy clothes, home made meals and long time friends…. all very comfortable… all very easy.

Its the other stuff, the more uncomfortable, difficult stuff that I have a tendency to avoid. I have spent my life going to great lengths to avoid confrontation. I moved across the country to avoid the repercussions of my decisions, I quit my job when the boss and I didn’t see eye to eye, I don’t have arguments, I bend over backwards to make everyone else around me happy in order to eliminate any chance of ill will towards me or anyone else for that matter. Its what I have always done. Running away has now gotten comfortable.

Tonight I walked into a room with 14 other people. All complete strangers. I experienced one of the most uncomfortable moments in my life. Uncomfortable because I looked into their eyes and saw myself. So, so much pain in that room. So, very uncomfortable. Nowhere to run.

For the next 13 weeks I will be going back to that same room. Probably going to be uncomfortable each and every time. Probably going to wish I was anywhere but that place. Probably going to want to run out the door.

But I’m not going to run. I’m going to face the things that I have avoided. I am going to embrace uncomfortable.