Losing My Religion
We have all been mad at someone before. Maybe it was a friend, a coworker, a parent or a stranger on MARTA. We all handle the frustration in different ways, but what it boils down to is that someone has done us wrong. Sometimes these are major events in our lives, other times minor blips on the radar that only cause us short term frustration. Regardless, the anger can make us do crazy things…
What happens when you become mad at God?
Being that God is kind of a big deal, the frustration and anger can consume you. There is nowhere to take your complaint, no support group, no easy resolution. All you have is you and Him, and a relationship that exists only by faith. And lets be honest, fighting with your faith can be slightly overwhelming.
I have a tendency to avoid confrontation. God was no exception.
I can remember the exact day when I made the decision to be mad at God. The choice came after I received an email from my then sunday school teacher. I was in the very beginning stages of what would be a horrendous several months as I navigated the path of filing for divorce. Our friends and family were hurt and upset by the news and everyone wanted to give their opinions…. including our sunday school teacher.
He was upset that we had not come to him earlier and was making a last ditch effort to “help”. Instead, the email came across as very derogatory and he made some very hurtful accusations. I was appalled by the judgmental comments that he, and so many other Christians, were making. Everything that I had come to love about the Southern Baptist Church was now being thrown in my face with a very hurtful hypocritical spin. I was done. Well done.
I questioned my faith like never before. I couldn’t understand why a God that proclaimed to love us would lead me down such a hurtful and sinful path. I wanted nothing to do with religion at that point. I can easily say that I went almost two years without looking at a church or even a Bible.
The events that lead up to realizing that God and I needed to make amends are a little too personal to share with the entire universe via the blogsphere. But what I can say is that it was a moment in my life that I will remember forever. He made it so obvious that I had no choice but to listen, no choice but to realize that I needed a little Jesus in my life. Above all else, I realized I could be forgiven.
Sometimes we just have to lose some things before we can learn to appreciate them. That goes for car keys, a pair of shoes and maybe, just maybe….. God.
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