Moments Worth Mentioning

I am proud to say that every major decision I have made in the last year has been the right one. I don’t regret anything. But as hard and as big as those decisions were, my most recent choice has hit me like nothing I have ever experienced.

I got my first Cavalier King Charles Spaniel in December of 2005. He had a piece of my heart the second I laid eyes on him. I was instantly the center of his world, and he hasn’t left my side since. I got a second puppy about two years later. Although she gave me a run for my money, and was nothing like my calm-natured boy, she also won my heart very quickly. Collectively, these two dogs have me completely wrapped around their finger (or paw).

When I moved to Michigan last August, my dogs became a great source of company and forced me to get out and discover the parks (and the people) of my new surroundings. I have relied on them heavily in the last 7 months in my moments of homesickness. But with that being said, the dogs have also become a bit of a challenge. First and foremost, in a time where every dollar is spent carefully, they are obviously a financial burden. I pay extra each month on my rent, and am finding myself forking out large amounts of cash to board them when I travel. Secondly, I am working two jobs right now and find myself away from my apartment 7 days a week, up to 10 or 11 hours at a time. I know they are miserable spending that much time in a cage. I am also very limited on where I can live. Not many apartments are very eager to rent to someone who owns two dogs. Since I don’t see myself owning another home anytime soon, renting will be a way of life for awhile. Dogs and renting just don’t go well together.

I could go on and on with legitimate reasons why my “babies” need a new home. But my heart is struggling with the idea immensely. I get tears in my eyes even thinking about turning them over to someone else. These silly dogs have a piece of my heart…. But I have come to the difficult realization that I would be selfish to keep them. They are a breed that needs to love and be loved. They need constant interaction with people in order to be happy. And in all fairness, I just don’t have what they need. So as horribly painful as it is, my search has started for a new home for them. Wish me luck on finding them a wonderful place, and for the strength that this process is going to require.

“Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go.”

I wanted to do a little bit of a comparison:

March 28, 2008 in Michigan

March 28, 2008 in Georgia

Enough said.

I would love to be writing about how great my weekend was with my mom. But it wasn’t great, it was amazing. It was amazing to have her put her arms around me. It was amazing to sit across the table from her and share a meal that we had spent the afternoon cooking together. It was amazing to go shopping and have her there to get me another size when I was in the dressing room. So many things that I had once taken for granted are now priceless encounters. I had no idea how much I had begun to miss my family.

I have never been so happy to be a tour guide. I feel like we spent the whole weekend in the car trying to see as much as possible. I had so many places to show them, and things to share with them. My life up here is pretty boring, but they loved learning about it as much as I loved showing it to them. We cooked… a lot. We tried restaurants that none of us had eaten at before. We went to the mall for no reason in particular. We took my dogs for a long walk in freezing temperatures just because my mom wanted to experience every detail of my new life. We made a special trip to buy eggs at a Meijer just because they don’t have those down in Georgia. As luck would have it, they even got to experience a little Michigan snow storm. To an outsider our weekend was pretty lame. But to me, it was an unforgettable few days.

This weekend has made me realize that my new life is coming at a pretty high price. I am giving up valuable time with my family for the opportunity to have a new career. And I have to admit that the realization is hard to digest. Nobody’s family is perfect. Mine is no exception. But they are “my people”. And all of a sudden it hurts like hell to be so far away from them.

There’s no such thing as a grown-up. We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own. But the basic insecurities, the basic fears and all those old wounds just grow up with us. We get bigger, we get taller, we get older. But, for the most part, we’re still a bunch of kids, running around the playground, trying desperately to fit in.
-Meredith Grey from “Greys Anatomy”

I had it all planed. I had the cake mix, the icing, the food coloring, and even some shamrock cupcake liners. I enjoy getting dirty in the kitchen every once in a while, and since cooking for one is pretty lame, I have recently found myself baking for my coworkers. (I get to enjoy the cooking process, and not the calories – Perfect!) So, my plan was to create some St. Patrick’s Day green cupcakes. Sounds good right?

I spent Sunday evening mixing and baking the cupcakes. After a little cooling, I iced each one with some food color enriched icing. They were green, and festive, and tasted yummy! I placed them all carefully in a container so that they didn’t get icing on each other, and so they could easily be transported to work. Another successful Betty Crocker moment complete…

I got to work today, and managed to grab my purse, my lunch, and my cupcakes from my car. As I am walking across the parking lot an invisible leprechaun (or something) ran in front of me causing me to trip. (Go ahead-start laughing.) I didn’t fall, but my beautiful cupcakes went flying. They stayed in their RubberMaid container, but needless to say the green icing was no longer on top of the cupcakes. Ugh! I shamelessly picked up the CLEAR container and continued walking and hung my head as I passed several people who couldn’t help but look at the smeared green mess.

Long story, short… They still tasted great, they just didn’t have the presentation that I had originally planned. I had some good laughs today as my different patients came in to enjoy the ugly cupcakes. I’m glad I could bring some humor to everyones lives!
When life gives you lemons… uh… serve ugly cupcakes?!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

You’re on an airplane, sleeping with your head against the window, your heart set on being home this time three hours from now. All of a sudden, something goes very wrong. The plane stops moving across the air and instead starts falling through it. The lights are flickering and the movie is skipping. The plane dips hundreds of feet in seconds, and the yellow cups fall from the ceiling. They’re a brighter shade of yellow than you remember, because unlike the demonstration, these cups have never been handled before. “Flight attendants take your seats now”, you hear, the pilot’s voice trembling over a cacophony of alert tones. You get that smell in the bridge of your nose like you’ve just been hit with a football. That’s what the fear smells like. The plane is going down.

Four more drastic drops in under a minute. People are crying. For all the folklore about how your life flashes before your eyes, you’re remarkably fixed on one vision – your parents. They’re sleeping at this very moment, in a bedroom so quiet they can hear the clock in the kitchen. And you can see them, clear as can be. You wish you could see a playground or a first kiss, but all you can see is your parents sleeping. Huh. Well, that’s that.

Several long minutes go by. Then, all at once, the lights come back on and the plane somehow rights itself. Some people cheer, but most people cry harder. The plane lands about an hour later, and as soon as you feel that touch down – hell, even when you were within 50 feet of the ground and could still technically survive a fall – you realize that however you brokered the deal between you and God worked; you’ve just been granted life in overtime.

Here’s the question: what do you change? Whom do you call that you haven’t spoken to in years? Whom do you realize has been toxic to your heart and drop with surprising ease? What trips do you cancel, and what trips do you book? What can’t you be bothered with anymore? What’s the new you like?

Think about that, and then ask one more question. Why not just change it all right now?

I’m entering my 5^th month of working 2 jobs and subsequently working 7 days a week. I’m starting to wonder how much more I can take.

This past weekend I had plans on cleaning, shopping, and doing a whole list of other things in preparation of my parent’s arrival next week. That was until I got the phone call to tell me that I’m needed at work. I ended up spending the better part of Saturday and several hours Sunday selling lotion and candles to frantic moms looking for Easter basket fillers. “Our plug-ins are on sale today: 2 for $20!”

In between refilling candle displays I found myself wondering how in the world I ended up there… How does a college graduate that is currently employed full time with a reputable company end up with the need for a second job? How can a girl that thought she was financially secure suddenly be starting over? I quickly come to the conclusion that you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet. In other words, this is the messy, ugly part of rebuilding my life that just plain sucks. But, if this is what I have to get through to find myself happy, independent, and free then so be it! Bring on the candles and lotion.

I did have time this weekend to give my dog a well needed “spring” haircut. The little guy is going to freeze if warmer weather dosnt find us soon! Central Michigan hasn’t seen snow in several weeks, and what was on the ground has pretty much melted. They tell me that we are not out of the woods yet, but I choose to be optimistic! Spring is close… I can feel it!

I never considered myself a southerner before I moved up north. Call it being naive, but I didn’t consider that there were real differences between how people lived and behaved depending on which state they lived in. I have now been well educated on the differences… and there are quit a few!!

The obvious difference is the accent of the people up here. Or, as they like to believe, its my accent that is different. The second HUGE difference is the northern idea of buying American made products. I had never given a thought to where my car, t-shirt, or water bottle was manufactured until I moved up here. Now, driving my foreign car is considered disrespectful, and admitting that I shop at Wal-Mart is considered un-American. I’m such a rebel.

I have been fascinated and greatly entertained by learning the differences between these two states. I have come to the realization that its two different cultures, and therefore support different ideas and behaviors. I guess it only proves that I am a southerner after all…

Rules of the South: (I’m not proud of them all, but they are all true.)

-Every person in the south waves. It’s called being friendly.
-Southerners open doors for women. All doors, for all women.
-They eat catfish and crawfish. If your looking or sushi and caviar you will need to find a bait shop.
-You won’t find a “Vegetarian Special” on the menu. Order a steak.
-Every great southern cook uses three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
-If you show up with some “coke” it better be brown, wet, and served over ice.
-College and High School football is as important down south as the Lakers are up north.
-The south begins where all the restaurants start serving sweet tea.
-The north has coffee houses, the south has waffle houses.
-The north has cream of wheat, the south has grits.
-Its fairly common to find video rentals and bait in the same store down south. Don’t buy food here.
-If you hear a southerner exclaim, “Hey, y’all, watch this,” you should stay out of the way.
-If there is a prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. If doesn’t matter whether you need anything or not.
-A true southerner makes friends while waiting in lines.
-A true southerner knows that you don’t scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 mph on the freeway. You just say “Bless her heart” and go your own way.

Respectively stolen from someone else’s blog…

People come into your life for a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime.

When you know which one it is for a person, you will know what to do for that person. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons: things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.